SCHOOLS AND IDENTITY

a multimedia narrative of K-12 education

This project is designed for GENED 1076 (USW 35): “Equity and Excellence in American K-12 Education,” a Fall 2019 course at Harvard College. As part of this course, I had the opportunity to visit Boston Arts Academy as an observer; during my visit, I took notes about what I saw, what I heard, and what stood out to me. Naturally, I drew comparisons to my own schooling experience. In this journalistic reflection, I aim to tackle the question: how have schools influenced my identity? How has my identity influenced schools?

I. Where is home for you?

In my three-minute personal elevator pitch, my story always starts with what I consider to be the root of it all: my birthplace. “I was born in Seoul, South Korea,” I start off, and before I can take another breath, I immediately follow up with the addendum—”but I moved to the U.S. when I was two years old.” These two clauses are never spoken in isolation. In my mind, they have to stick together in order to tell the full story. And although I can’t remember what my life was like when I did live in Korea as an infant, it’s remarkable how much of an unexpected impact that my birthplace (and subsequently, my citizenship) would leave on the 21 years to follow.

I say all of this to show that my encounters with my identity have not adhered to a simple path. I wish I could say that my acknowledgement of my identity came in a clean, tightly-wrapped package, adorned with a perfect bow. For years, that is how I felt I had to present myself to others. What I have recently come to recognize, though, is that there is constantly so much more to unpack from the pieces that I’ve gathered so far. Attending Harvard University while growing increasingly cognizant of higher education have pushed me to think more critically about how I’m changing from semester to semester, and how so much of that thought process is driven by movements that occur in the university bubble. I decided to dig deeper—to travel back in time and examine the ways in which my prior educational experiences have moved me. I knew that they were important, foundational pieces to my character development. But I wanted to understand why and how.

INVISIBLE SENSES

an editorial photography series, modeled and photographed by Hayoung Ahn

II. What has school taught you?

THE ARTIST’S WAY

a poem written and voiced by Hayoung Ahn

It is art class in second grade. My friends ask me to help them draw

and I show them how to shade with a charcoal pencil or how to

outline the shape of an eye, boldly but with light strokes—

but after one, two, three strokes, their canvas quickly becomes mine.

I am in fifth grade, imagining that I am the king of the jungle,

fearless as I claim my well-deserved seniority on stage or in the halls

and one day I am pulled aside with my other friends whom I know are

smart too, and we all get to make clay dinosaurs on Tuesday mornings.

 

They call it “enrichment learning” but the other kids just ask me

why I go to school an hour earlier. I sculpt a Brachiosaurus and

paint it acrylic sky blue with indigo spots on its back. That year,

I learn that making dinosaurs is special, and not for everyone.

 

Sixth grade is when time decides to run a marathon and

prepares for its first mile. We all have to choose a “talent” that

represents us, like music or robotics or dance or drama

and my violin chooses me as its player in sixth grade band.

It is art class in seventh grade. I have switched from music

to art because I see more friends in the art program,

hear more boombox radio tunes blending with soft chatter and

paintbrush movements. I want to stay long after the bell rings.

In eleventh grade, I write a story of vulnerability

for the high school newspaper—I talk about my dad and how

I chase after photography in pursuit of understanding;

I am unable to contain the sandstorm within my mind.

My AP English teacher, who doubles as newspaper faculty advisor

pulls me aside from class—Are things okay at home? I say yes

Are you really okay with sharing this personal piece

with everyone at school? I say yes.

 

In twelfth grade, I start journaling. I fall madly in love

with writing, as my English teacher then introduces us to

“commonplace books”—a type of journal or notebook for

jotting down quotes, observations, thoughts, passages.

 

Since when have I felt so free? I am writing a story

every day in my mind, but for the first time I am ready to

tell it the way it is; it’s written in between my fingers.

That year, I learn to love my art.

Note: This audio may only 
be supported by Chrome. 
The transcript for 
the poem recording 
is available to the left.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I consider this to be the very beginning of an ongoing project, in which I will continue to explore how schools have influenced my identity using various media. Please stay tuned and join me on this journey in the coming months as I uncover more of myself and the world through art. If you resonated with anything that you just read, saw, heard, or felt, let me know! If you would even like to participate and/or get involved in this project, SCHOOLS AND IDENTITY, feel free to contact me. I would love to hear your story.